Nectarine

3rd place in combined demo compo at the Ultimate Meeting 2007

"the (german) text is 100% original from a spam mail that jco received about a month ago (except for the repetitions). not a word was changed, and neither were any of the urls (as spoken). the website is gone for good already, so the whole thing probably was a short-lived scam operation. in any case, the completely fucked up german translation with its unintentional humor was reason enough for jco to make a track out of it, and for me to suggest turning it into a demo :). besides, we both found it hilarious how the job offer crap in the first half slowly turns into the cheesy propaganda-ish phrases full of military metaphors in the second half." -ryg

English "lyrics" taken from the on-screen text in the demo:

salute you! / allow us to inform you / about new offer / by online-investments. / It is best partner program / for human / looking for side service on internets. / Please allow us / explain you few specials / and present interesting information / to you / so you have no necessity / searching another work / on the internets. / (traditional chinese marching music) / You may find our offer / very interesting and useful. / (more glorious marching) / If you have a few free hours per day/ and minimal computer ableyties / then you human / very useful as employee to us. / A lot of people currently / work during long time / and this work is / for them / main job on the internets. / (oh, the heroic hordes!) / Now you have chance doing this! / Now you have chance doing this! / Now you have chance doing this! / Now you still reading subtitles?!? / Allow us say few words about online-investments. / We work with new decisions in business of internets. / Currently we’ve reached international level / and working with many countries. / Now we working in following main concerns / Investments / Information Technology / Human Sources / (virtuosic sitar solo) / We hope / you understand meaning / of our mission / and wanting to be member of great collective! / Please ask yourself / a few questions: / Do YOU want to change life of yours? / Do YOU want to be convinced of next day? / Do YOU want to be useful member of important society? / If YES / Allow us to congratulate you! / All you need contact us! / You can get answer yours question / and give us your / r\`esum\`e per our website / www.google.com/ Afterwards, as we get r\`esum\`e of yours / we discuss it / and will be happy to welcome you in our company! / We hope / YOU are interested in our offer / and find you among our best employees! / Human Sources / (the percussion section is victorious) / Please do NOT answer this letter! / Simply visit us on internets! / Please do NOT answer this letter! / Simply visit us on internets! / Human Sources / Human Sources / Human Sources / Human Sources / Human Sources / Human Sources / Human Sources / Human Sources / Please do NOT answer this letter! / Simply visit us on internets! / www.google.com / to get new information. / Registration form avaliable at address / \url{http://www.wikipedia.cn} / Sincerely, your d.webb online-investments. / Closed captioning by People’s Liberation Subtitlers Jan Liai-Xing